After 2.5 years of buying diapers and wiping up poop, we decided it was time to start potty training.
And boy was I unprepared.
Hudson had been communicating very clearly when he was going potty or pooping in his diaper and had been consistently using the potty before bedtime for a few months. So as Emily read in all the books and articles we assumed these were “the signs your toddler will show that they’re ready to potty train.”
Apparently not.
Over the 4th of July weekend, Emily and I gave it a shot and went the “naked route” (which is what we learned about from Moms on Call – our baby/toddler bible) where basically Hudson was naked for four full days. This “naked method” was supposed to help him feel uncomfortable when he pooped or peed and encourage him to use the potty. Not only did this not work, but Hudson also loved being naked and the current aftermath is that getting him to simply wear shorts is a WWE-esq wrestling match.
So, if you and your partner are in this boat and have potty training on your mind, here’s how I’d recommend you mentally prepare and what I wish some other dad would have told me.
Get Yourself a Poncho
Ok, I joke, but really also not. If you go the “naked route” put yourself in the mindset of chasing a puppy around your house all day. Keep the paper towels and Lysol handy and the supply above the norm because you are going to need it. Oh, and the poncho recommendation is for when your kid is sitting on your lap and just pees on you without warning.
Potty Training Success Means Anything, Literally Anthing
I think any pediatrician or baby whisperer would say our July 4th long weekend of potty training was a dismal failure. Hudson is not potty trained and now wants to always be naked in any place or situation. However, to Emily and I, it was a success. We made it, Hudson made it, we tried, he peed on the potty one time that weekend, and had only two major poop on the floor incidents.
Success means that you made it through your potty training experience. Pour a beer, Dad, and try again later.
Do a Potty Training Pregame with your Partner
Remember the hatred you have for the $150 diaper bill at Target? Potty training will make you love it. You will love diapers again my friend. So, have a pregame pep talk with your partner, reminding each other that it’s going to get hard… and annoying… and frustrating.
Come up with a plan to stick with it. A mid-day Moscow Muel helped Emily and me.
Meal Prep and/or Organize the Take-out Menus
We did the whole July 4th meal thing – ribs on the smoker, homemade pasta salad, etc. This cooking + chasing a naked toddler + cleaning up bodily fluids was way too much. It made us irritable (at each other). If you’re going to embark on a potty training naked weekend, do so with pre-prepped meals and/or take-out on-call.
Don’t Make Plans
Emily and I love to get out and about and do fun things as a family on the weekends. On potty training weekend, we did just that. We took Hudson to the Trampoline Park in underwear where he took a huge poop in them in the middle of the dodgeball court, followed by peeing all over his car seat on the way home. This was not a good move.
The potty training weekend is a no-plan weekend and it’s a time to make fun stuff happen at your house. If people want to come over, ok, fine, maybe. But all my fellow Dads, public places are not your best friends that weekend.
If all of these tips fail you, just remember this: Everyone, literally, everyone is potty trained and your toddler will be too. You got this, Dad.
